My eyes scanned the crowded Megabus, searching hopefully for an empty seat without someone sitting next to it. It didn’t take long before I realized it was in vain—I’d have to muster up the courage in my shy, introverted self and sit next to a stranger for a six hour car ride. I saw a girl who appeared to be college age moving her backpack off the seat next to her; she was starting to realize she wouldn’t get the seats to herself, either. Motioning to the seat next to her, I asked if I could sit next to her. She smiled friendly and made small talk with me introducing herself as Rachel. She quickly mentioned that she had just graduated from college, where she was traveling from, and how much she loved French. As soon as she mentioned her love for and fluency in French, I couldn’t help but throw a few French sentences her way. Her eyes immediately sparkled with joy as she replied back in French. It definitely didn’t take long before she realized how little French I know, but nonetheless, it definitely was a conversation starter.
I noticed two notebooks Rachel had opened up in front of her as the bus began to pull away from the dusty curb. It wasn’t long before she started explaining the notebooks—how she had written one back in January, and she was rereading that one, while taking notes about it in her other notebook. She played with her blonde hair, twisting it around her ponytail, and bit her bottom lip, seeming to be pondering something. Speaking more softly, she explained, “I was going through a hard time in January, so I’m trying to learn things from that experience.” She paused for a second, then asked, “Would it be awkward if I shared what I went through with you?”
I quickly ensured her it wouldn’t be awkward—that I would be glad to listen to her story. Just minutes later, I found myself wrapped up in the complexity of her struggles. I definitely didn’t agree with all of her decisions, but I couldn’t help but feel so much compassion for this girl who was sharing her heart and life story, someone who just needed a listening ear.
I didn’t know all the right words to say. I didn’t know the perfect way to listen to her, to love her, and to gently show her some of the wrong decisions she was making. During those hours on the bus, listening as she poured out her story, I couldn’t help but feel insufficient. I couldn’t help but wonder why God chose me to sit next to her that day, instead of someone who would have had all the right words to say. Why would God want me to listen to her and not someone else? Shouldn’t He have chosen someone better at listening, someone more outgoing?
But He didn’t. He chose me.
If you’re a child of God, He’s chosen you, too. No matter how broken your story is, no matter how lost the pieces in your life seem to be, no matter how many times you’ve fallen. He chooses you, and if you’re willing, He’ll use you in ways you never thought possible before.
More than likely you’ve felt insufficient at some point, too. You’ve felt as if someone else would do a better job than you. But don’t let that get you discouraged—in 2 Corinthians 12:9, it says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
When God wants to use you, don’t panic. Don’t wish He had picked someone else to use. Don’t feel insufficient. He’ll equip you with what you need. He’ll give you words to say when you need them, and He’ll show you when to listen when listening is what’s needed. His power is made perfect in weakness. Don’t be afraid to let His power shine through your weaknesses.
Kayla Joy
