Messy Moments

As I sat down in the chair, I balanced two children on my lap, each toddler fighting to have me to themselves. Soon enough, a much needed distraction came—cupcakes. The chocolate cupcakes were in celebration of Jesus’ birthday; a birthday party for the toddlers, in order to help them understand the birth of Jesus. One of the girls on my lap was especially delighted about her cupcake, squishing the soft cake between her fingers, stuffing it in her mouth with delight. I smiled as chocolate crumbs fell on the floor, knowing the floor would definitely have to be cleaned. I couldn’t help but laugh when I looked at her face and realized that she was wearing more of this dessert than she was eating. Her mouth was smudged with icing, with even a few dabs of chocolate on her nose. Her short golden hair had some crumbs hiding in it. But beneath all of that mess, her smile was huge. She was having a blast, and she definitely wasn’t afraid to get dirty! As I wiped the mess off her mouth, I couldn’t help but wonder at how she wasn’t afraid to get messy. She knew she would be taken care of. She didn’t worry about getting messy, but instead she delighted in it.

    Sometimes, God calls us to get messy for His sake. Maybe it doesn’t look quite the same—it probably won’t involve wearing chocolate cake on your face—but it often involves tasks that aren’t so pleasant. An example of this that Jesus gave us? One that instantly comes to my mind is Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. A nice, relaxing, clean job… or maybe the complete opposite. Jesus humbled Himself to take on a lowly job—scrubbing the dirt off feet. It isn’t exactly a job most people scramble to do, but Jesus willingly did it, leaving a beautiful example for us. After washing their feet, Jesus says, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:14-15). Washing their feet is one of the best examples of being willing to humble yourself and get messy for God’s glory, but it doesn’t always come in the form of feet washing. Whether it’s changing a dirty diaper, sweeping the floor, or taking the time to serve the needy, it can be done for His glory.

    The real question is—are you willing to get messy for His sake? As He showed us through His example, following Jesus is often messy. Much like the little girl, however, even through the messy moments, He’ll take care of you. He’ll be right there beside you, as you go through messy moments for His sake.

Kayla Joy

Secret Sins

       I sat on the heater on a particularly cold day, trapped behind the pages of a book I was reading. My dog, Sammy, had been wandering in and out of the room, as if he was bored and looking for something to do. At a breaking point in my book, I looked up for a moment, and heard an unusual crinkling sound. I instantly wondered where Sammy was, knowing it was never a good sign to ask that question. Getting up from my comfy spot, I quickly spotted him in the bathroom, unrolling a toilet paper and stuffing it in his mouth hungrily.

    As soon as he looked up, he knew he was in trouble. He ran from the room and stared at the mess he made, looking at me as if asking, “Why whoever made that mess??” His guilty eyes and licking lips told me the true story, however.

    Instead of instantly being sorry, he first tried to escape from being scolded. He knew he was going to be in trouble if he was caught, so he thought he could hide his bad boy acts.

    Isn’t this how we act around God a lot of the time? It’s certainly not something we want to admit, but we really don’t want to give Him all parts of our lives. We’d rather give Him only the good parts, and attempt to hide the rest from Him.

    But God doesn’t want us coming to him displaying our best parts and disguising our sins as something else. He wants us to come as we are—even when that means broken and hurting. Thankfully, we have an amazing, merciful God who forgives us time and time again. You don’t have to fear telling Him of your sins and broken pieces, He already knows. He’s just waiting for you to hand over all of yourself to Him.

Kayla Joy

   

Take Heart

I had just settled down to form play-dough into pizzas, chatting about school with the girls I was babysitting. Reminding the youngest to keep the play-dough out of her mouth, I was surprised in the midst of the light hearted chatter to hear a serious question asked. “Kayla?” said the nine year old, “Are demons real?”

Her brown eyes stared at me, waiting to know the answer. Her face held a tinge of fear. I did my best to explain that, while demons are real, Jesus is stronger. He’s already overcome them, and ultimately, He’s already won the battle. Simply put to a nine year old, while demons are real and do exist, we don’t have to live in fear of them, because Jesus lives in our hearts and He’s bigger than them.

I love how kids ask and face questions that sometimes we’re afraid to even think about. There are so many scary things going on in the world—with the outbreak of Ebola, ISIS, natural disasters, violence, school shootings, terrorism, the list could go on and on—it’s almost easier to ignore the fears in the world and simply live out our lives, pretending as if none of it is going on.

But is that how we’re really supposed to live? Pretending like the world is fine, even when we know of all the pain going on in it? John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I love how the verse doesn’t sugarcoat it. It doesn’t say that we will all live easy lives. It doesn’t say there won’t be any pain or sorrow. Instead, it comes straight out and says, “In this world you will have trouble.”

But the amazing thing? It doesn’t end there. The world doesn’t end with trouble. That isn’t the end of the story. It ends with Jesus saying, “But take heart! I have overcome the world”. We can’t ignore the pain going on all around us, but we don’t have to live in fear because of it. We can take heart, knowing that He has already overcome the world, and find strength in Him to persevere, to continue to spread His love to the hurting.

Yes, demons are real. But Jesus is stronger. He’s already overcome.

Kayla Joy

Chocolate Buh-Na-Na Masterpieces

"Buh-na-na!" the toddler called out, twisting her body and squirming in my arms to reach for a banana on the counter. Her blonde curls bounced as she wiggled in my arms, acting as if the banana was a piece of chocolate cake. I grabbed the banana, carefully un-peeling it and exposing a slightly overripe banana. The tip of the banana was bruised. I was prepared to scrape off the bad spot and hand the rest of it over to the little girl when she chimed up cheerfully, "It's a chocolate buh-na-na." I smiled, loving how I saw a bruise, but she saw something completely different. I didn't give it a second thought, but she was fascinated by it.

I love how we can look at something and see one thing, but God sees something completely different. We may look at ourselves with disgust, wishing we could scrape away the bruised parts of our life and erase them, but God knows that even in those spots, His grace is sufficient for us. He can take even our most bruised spots and use them for His glory, if we let Him. Isaiah 64:8 says, "Yet You, Lord, our are Father. We are the clay, You are the potter: we are all the work of Your hand."

We have been carefully crafted, the workmanship of God. He's forming us daily into who He wants us to become. The next time you wish you could scrape away a certain part of your life, remember that God can form even that into a way to glorify Him. He isn't confined by boxes, He is amazing at taking something we view as bad and slowly shaping it into a masterpiece.

Kayla Joy

Living Moment by Moment

“Awwwwww!” A little girl’s voice rang out, eyeing my dog, Sammy. She leaned her bike in the grass and came running up to me, her wavy hair bouncing against her back as she ran. She looked as if she was eight years old or so. Sammy excitedly wagged his tail—happy as always for a chance to be loved on.

“He’s just too cute! Can I pet him??” She asked eagerly, and I made small talk with her as she leaned over to pet him. I was just taking Sammy outside for a minute, but the little girl took a long time to adore him. After he had given her kisses, she spoke up again, this time asking a different question.

    “Can we sit down and talk for a bit?” This caught me off guard. I’d seen the girl biking around the neighborhood recently, but I’d never talked to her before. I had plans for the day, and I hadn’t accounted for this. Yet her brown eyes looked up at me questioningly, waiting for my response.

    For the next hour, I found myself sitting on the grass next to her, Sammy asleep at her feet, as she chattered about random things. She never ran out of things to talk about, from her dog, to birthday’s, to friends, to just about anything you could possibly think of. The smile never left her face as she spoke, and she seemed delighted to have someone to listen to her.    

    I hadn’t planned on talking to her for so long, but I found myself enjoying the time to stop and listen to someone else. It’s easy for me to rush on, from one thing to another, and miss chances like that. Isn’t that true for all of us? Life is busy, filled with places to be, and sometimes in the rush of it, we miss moments to pause and truly be in the moment. With school starting back up, life is getting especially crazy, yet I’m determined this school year to be intentional with my actions, and take the time to pause and live in the moment. God is the One who gives us every moment we have. Instead of taking it for granted, let’s live in the moment, giving God the glory and honor every step of the way.

Sufficient in Weakness

    My eyes scanned the crowded Megabus, searching hopefully for an empty seat without someone sitting next to it. It didn’t take long before I realized it was in vain—I’d have to muster up the courage in my shy, introverted self and sit next to a stranger for a six hour car ride. I saw a girl who appeared to be college age moving her backpack off the seat next to her; she was starting to realize she wouldn’t get the seats to herself, either. Motioning to the seat next to her, I asked if I could sit next to her. She smiled friendly and made small talk with me introducing herself as Rachel. She quickly mentioned that she had just graduated from college, where she was traveling from, and how much she loved French. As soon as she mentioned her love for and fluency in French, I couldn’t help but throw a few French sentences her way. Her eyes immediately sparkled with joy as she replied back in French. It definitely didn’t take long before she realized how little French I know, but nonetheless, it definitely was a conversation starter.

    I noticed two notebooks Rachel had opened up in front of her as the bus began to pull away from the dusty curb. It wasn’t long before she started explaining the notebooks—how she had written one back in January, and she was rereading that one, while taking notes about it in her other notebook. She played with her blonde hair, twisting it around her ponytail, and bit her bottom lip, seeming to be pondering something. Speaking more softly, she explained, “I was going through a hard time in January, so I’m trying to learn things from that experience.” She paused for a second, then asked, “Would it be awkward if I shared what I went through with you?”

I quickly ensured her it wouldn’t be awkward—that I would be glad to listen to her story. Just minutes later, I found myself wrapped up in the complexity of her struggles. I definitely didn’t agree with all of her decisions, but I couldn’t help but feel so much compassion for this girl who was sharing her heart and life story, someone who just needed a listening ear.

    I didn’t know all the right words to say. I didn’t know the perfect way to listen to her, to love her, and to gently show her some of the wrong decisions she was making. During those hours on the bus, listening as she poured out her story, I couldn’t help but feel insufficient. I couldn’t help but wonder why God chose me to sit next to her that day, instead of someone who would have had all the right words to say. Why would God want me to listen to her and not someone else? Shouldn’t He have chosen someone better at listening, someone more outgoing?

    But He didn’t. He chose me.

If you’re a child of God, He’s chosen you, too. No matter how broken your story is, no matter how lost the pieces in your life seem to be, no matter how many times you’ve fallen. He chooses you, and if you’re willing, He’ll use you in ways you never thought possible before.

    More than likely you’ve felt insufficient at some point, too. You’ve felt as if someone else would do a better job than you. But don’t let that get you discouraged—in 2 Corinthians 12:9, it says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

    When God wants to use you, don’t panic. Don’t wish He had picked someone else to use. Don’t feel insufficient. He’ll equip you with what you need. He’ll give you words to say when you need them, and He’ll show you when to listen when listening is what’s needed. His power is made perfect in weakness. Don’t be afraid to let His power shine through your weaknesses.

Kayla Joy

Relying on Strength

    “Just one more fish!” I begged, loving the newfound hobby of fishing and not wanting to go inside. My mom silently agreed by nodding, and waited as I hooked a worm on the fishing rod. Within seconds, I could feel strong tugs on the rod. I reeled in as fast as I could, but the pole was starting to bend. It was clear that, no matter how fast I tried to reel the fish in, the fishing pole wasn’t going to cut it. The rod simply wasn’t strong enough on its own. It was starting to break under the weight of the fish. I grabbed for the string and pulled the fish in by the string. Once I unhooked the fish, my mom had calmed down and stopped screaming enough to fetch a bucket for this fish—later named Gulpa as he become our dinner. In the excitement of it, I showed Gulpa off to whoever was interested, but I couldn’t help but think of how our fishing rod couldn’t do it on its own.

    Isn’t this so often how we are? We tend to rely on our own strength. We think we can get through life on our own. It’s not until we start breaking and falling apart that we realize… we can’t get through life on our own. Our own strength isn’t going to be enough, but thankfully, it doesn’t have to be! We need a Savior—and we have one. Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

    Your own strength isn’t going to be enough. You’ll break under the stress of the world if you try to rely on your own strength. Instead, rely on God’s strength. His strength is enough for you, and it always will be enough for you. Shouldn’t we ask for strength from the very One who will never run out of strength?

Kayla Joy

                                                                                                  Here's a picture of Gulpa!

Beloved

I gathered smooth, flat rocks in my hand. Turning them over, I carefully looked at each of them—determining if they were good skipping rocks, and if so, how many skips I could get out of each rock. Each rock was different, unique. Some were scraped and scarred from the journey down the river. Others were smooth, glistening from the water rushing over it. My eyes scanned the rocks, looking only for flat, round rocks. As I ran my fingers over the individually shaped rocks I was holding, I couldn’t help but think of how many times we skip over people in our lives.

Maybe the people seem scraped and scarred themselves—hurting from going through the storms of life. When you see those types of people, it’s so much easier to just skip over them— to choose to talk to the people who look like they’ve experienced less hurt. It’s less time consuming, and can be easy to ignore the hurt people are going through.

But… that isn’t what God does. He doesn’t see us and skip over us. He sees every person, each fearfully and wonderfully created by Him, and He cares for each person, no matter their story, what they’re going through, or how many scrapes and scars they have from their life. He could choose to love only certain ones and ignore others. But, out of His greatness and mercy, He doesn’t.

I think Ephesians 3:17-19 sums up His love for us—every one of us, no matter our story—in an amazing way. “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

People in life will skip over you, ignore you, and cause you pain. But the Creator of the universe Himself won’t skip over you. He notices you, He cares for you, and most importantly, He loves you. To Him, you’re not a single rock surrounded by hundreds of better rocks. To Him, you’re His beloved child.

Kayla Joy

Different Perspectives

I sat under a gorgeous blooming tree, reading a book. The Ohio river stretched out before me, muddy waters slowly gurgling past. The park was alive with kids giggling with delight as they threw pebbles and twigs into the river. I stretched out my feet, loving the spring breeze. I was about to go back to reading my book when a little boy walking up the sidewalk caught my attention. He was trying to act like an adult in charge. He shouted out to his siblings, “Don’t run or you’ll fall in the pool!” This instantly made me smile. He was too little to understand that it was a river and not a pool. To him, the Ohio river was all a giant pool. I was looking at the exact same thing the boy was—only we had different perspectives on it. Where I saw a river, he saw a pool.

I can’t help but think of a similar comparison. When we look at a person whose life seems to be falling apart, we see a hopeless situation. We see a mess. But God looks at it with a different perspective. He can be looking at the same situation as us, but He doesn’t see what everybody else sees, He sees so much more. He sees hope. He sees the plans He has for that person. He can take what everyone else thinks is a mess, and turn it into a message. Our God is an amazing God who isn’t limited by what the world defines as hopeless.

If your life is a mess, don’t give up hope. God’s not finished working with you. You might only be able to see a mess, but God sees more than that. He sees all the plans He has for you. He knows what good He’s going to bring out of the situation. Even if it seems hopeless to you, remember that He’s coming at it with a different perspective. He knows everything that’s happened in the past, and He knows everything’s that’s going to happen in the future. Though we can’t always see where He’s leading us, we can have faith that He knows what He’s doing.

Kayla Joy

God's Handiwork

“Wook, Kaywa!” The little boy’s hands tapped his sheet of coloring paper, as he exclaimed again, “Wook!” I looked down at his sheet of paper, filled with colorful scribbles. “Do you wike my wock?” I smiled as he gestured with his finger to a circle he had drawn on the paper. The circle had been filled in with scribbles of all sorts of colors, red, yellow, green, blue. “I love it! That’s a gorgeous rock!” I exclaimed. He beamed proudly, then pointed to another circle, “And dis wock? Do you wike dis wock, too??” I nodded enthusiastically, assuring him that he did a wonderful job of drawing rocks. No doubt he was already dreaming about his future of becoming a famous rock drawer. He pointed to a third rock he had drawn, “Kaywa! Dis wock, too! You wike dis wock?” Once again, I told him it was a wonderful rock, and I loved the blue he used. 



No two of his rocks were the same. Some were outlined, then filled in, some loosely resembled a circle shape, let alone a rock shape. Yet, he was proud of what he had drawn. He created his rocks, and he could see beauty through all those scribbles.

God, on the other hand, didn’t create little scribbles as He created us. He didn’t mess up along the way, and He didn’t make any mistakes. None of us are exactly alike. I can imagine God being proud of how He created us, much like how the little boy was proud of his rock drawings. But, unlike the rock drawing, we weren’t a spur of the moment idea. God had us in mind since before the creation of the world. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

We are God’s handiwork. We’re His creation. He sees beauty in His creations. Not everyone will appreciate His creations, but that doesn’t mean that His creations are of any less worth because of how other people view them. He put effort and thought in to each of us. That, in itself, gives every single person worth. The next time you feel like a random scribble, remember that you’re God’s valued creation.

Kayla Joy

Horse Trust

I slowly eased on my horse's back. I had a new horse for this session of horseback riding--more specifically, jumping lessons--and it was my first time getting to know this horse. My horse, Tommy, waited patiently until I cued him to walk forward, and then obediently walked on. Throughout the warmup, I tested his obedience. By halting him when he wasn't expecting it, asking for him to back up at random times, and making him circle around in some corners, I was seeing how much I could trust him to follow my lead. Each time I tested him, he was eager and willing to respond to my cues. He didn't question where I was leading him--even if it seemed random and didn't make much sense to him. He trusted that I knew what I was doing with him. Tommy trusted me to show him what to do next, even if the path wasn't clear to him.

I can't help but realize how different I am than my horse. When God tells me to do something, I'm not always jumping straight up to do it--sometimes I spend more time grumbling about it than listening to Him. I don't know what my life will look like in ten years from now, and often times I wish I could know. When something happens that doesn't make sense to me, my first reaction isn't to trust that God has it in His hands. The King of the universe knows every detail about my life--past, present, and future--and yet it's still a struggle to trust Him with my daily life.

Overall, I'm not like Tommy. I don't think many of us are. I think we all, to some degree or another, don't want to give God full control of our lives and don't want to put our trust completely in Him. It's certainly not easy to do, and it's not something that happens immediately. It's a daily process.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Sometimes we get so caught up in looking at the plan of our life. If we can't see what's going to happen and what this plan consists of, we want to take things over for ourselves and try to form our own plans for our life. But Jeremiah 29:11 doesn't say that we know the plans God has for us, it says that God knows the plans He has for us. We're not expected to know God's plan for our lives. We're expected to trust the Planner.

Kayla Joy